The day in brief

• Got up earlier than everyone else to buy muffins for weekly breakfast meeting.
• Muffins consumed in silence. No thanks. Crumbs left on floor.
• Last minute deal-sheets appear on my desk in the scramble to get commission this month (and not let it slide into next month).
• Strong talk with Jimmy as he revenue numbers suck loudly, he's been on holiday, he's sick on his return, he requested more holiday.
• Askance looks at bookkeeper.
• Bookkeeper looks askance back.
• Meet with Chuck to discuss real-estate brokerage arm of business.
• Chuck feels like he's being gypped.
• Reviews numbers. Feels less like he's being gypped (but cannot admit it).
• Marcus is editing a picture of bathroom - trying to remove the mold.
• More salary admin.
• Pay taxes to tax guys.
• More salary admin.
• Read 23 page purchase document in Dutch for property I want to buy (11.00 at night now).
• Crash.

Ants

The Dutch have this great term ‘miereneuker’ that is used to describe someone who unreasonably focuses on irrelevant details. The term is English is approximated to ‘a person who likes to have sexual relations with an ant.’

In my day-to-day muddling in everyone’s business at Ideal Housing – the prerogative of the Managing Partner –, I’m abstracted out of the hue-and-cry of negotiating prices, extra beds, the removal of lamps and the painting of scuffed walls and, in general, escape having to kowtow to mireneukers that are, in fact, our rental clients.

Yesterday evening something surprising and depressing occurred. My offer was accepted on the purchase of a monster apartment on a canal in the Jordaan. From that instant – the nanosecond between being a contender and winning the bid – I found myself transformed form a well-balanced, easy going and pleasant individual into a person who likes to have sexual relations with an ant. I’ve already called the seller fifty times asking if this or that is included, was that scratch on the wall when I last viewed the place, the gate seems creaky, the intercom crackles, there’s a leaf on the roof, it looks like rain and the temperature has dropped from warm to chilly.

The owner has this tone that yells ‘ant boy!’

I have a new understand that verges on sympathy for these insect-loving clients and have promised not to swear at them (at least not when they are within earshot).

Igenious, these scam people

The scan runs something like this:

• We get a booking from an 'intermediary' on behalf of their client.
• The 'intermediary' pays with the client's credit card information.
• The funds clear on our account for a three week stay in one of our apartments.
• At the last minute, the 'intermediary' contacts us saying his client has cancelled.
• We are requested to refund the payment not back to the credit card but to another bank account.
• The client never shows.