Reasons followed by claims

It was a strange day now that I think about it. Friday, last week - that’s when it all started. Ideal Housing does not collect rent. We broker a deal, collect our commission and then leave the tenant and owner to figure their relationship out themselves. Friday last, then, an owner calls the office for the umpteenth time – his rent has not been received. Ginny calls the client as a service to the owner and a reminder to the client – let’s call him Clive (that’s right, Clive the client). Hardly able to get a word in edgeways, she is forced to listen to a long list of reasons detailing why the rent is not where it should be. These reasons include “family reasons” and “financial reasons” and progress from the land of reason to the land of claims which includes the claim that “the money has already left our account in New York” to the claim that the “owner is a liar and must already have the money” and finally the claim that Ginny is a “cocaine addict, an alcoholic and a whore who has insulted my family and I will get her and don’t think I won’t because I know people and I know where you live.” She calls me in tears.

Putting on my best and smoothest voice, I called the Clive on the Friday and arranged to do a check-out Monday – that is today. Midday roles around, the sun beats down on the five of us waiting for Clive. The five of us being myself, one of our portfolio managers, the owner and two ‘cleaners’ both of whom are scary looking and unnaturally muscled. Clive does not show despite his earlier mail confirming that he’d be there. I wander a few buildings down the Keizersgracht to where is office is located in a sort of business center. There’s a woman at the shared service desk who, claims (another claim) to know him and assures me that they are good friends. He’s in the US for “business reasons.” I repeat “Business reasons?” but receive only a sage nodding of the head in response.

She’d be only too happy to look after his bags pending his return later this week. Meantime, we complete the checkout without Clive and leave the property. Back at the office there’s an email waiting from the US from Clive. He’s livid that we’ve entered his office – not true; livid that he’s not received his deposit – never provided at check-out anyway; livid that… well, what does it matter, he’s just livid.